The Coach is KILLING Me!

President Shuler? /bangs head against desk

So, the Washington Post last week published an article about what the the future of DC may look like (it sounds better if you do that last part with a spooky voice). They didn't take a positive, Utopian view -- they took a horrific, post apocalyptic view. One where the president is:

Heath Shuler!

Yes, Heath! Shuler! President! Of the frickin' US of A! As you may know, I tried to keep him out of Congress, but I didn't know my failure could have such catastrophic repercussions.

> Washington's Future, a History (Washington Post)
> Heath Shuler for President? (Herd on the Trail)

Holy Crap, Heath Shuler is a Superdelegate!

Start jokes now:

• He'll fumble his vote at the convention
• He'll get benched for Gus Frerrote in the middle of the convention
• He'll get injured during one of the events (where he won't drink carbonated beverages)
• Somehow, he'll blame Norv if his candidate doesn't get the nomination

Discuss.

Superdelegates attract plenty of suitors

Did I Wake up in 1995?

I've watched the new show Journeyman a couple of times, where the guy keeps traveling back in time to help people and advertise the iPhone (actually, I can't look at the actor and not think that he should really go back in time and keep Julius Caesar from being stabbed -- he screwed that up royally the first time).

Today, I had one of those same experiences -- I woke up and Norv Turner is the football coach in the city I live in, and Gus Frerotte is a starting quarterback in the NFL. Now, I was a full-fledged member of the "Gus-stapo" back when Norv was switching between him and Heath Shuler, but I can't imagine this is good news for Rams fans.

Now, I am going tell my 1995 self to lay off on the credit card, buy some Netscape stock, not to buy Shaq-Fu: Da Return, and that the Redskins will be causing a lot more pain...

Norv & Heath

One of Norv Turner's biggest blunders as coach of the Redskins was his insistence on drafting uber-bust Heath Shuler and then mismanaging the QB situation for the next three years. He would never really name a starter, and just yank Gus & Heath in and out, seemingly on a whim. Well, when Heath Shuler was running for Congress last year, I interviewed him for my last side project: Stop Shuler. He very strongly intimated that it was Norv's fault that he never lived up to expectations -- starting him too soon, yanking him too quick, and generally not knowing what he was doing. I tried to get Norv's side of the story, but the 49ers PR team deflected me.

Obviously, this time around, Norv isn't involved in picking his players (the Chargers already have a bunch of good ones), and it would be tough for him to manufacture a QB controversy (I just don't see the fans jumping on the Billy Volek bandwagon). I wonder what he will come up with...

The Fun that was Stop Shuler

So, I decided to, for no good reason, start a blog called Stop Shuler, opposing Redskins draft bust Heath Shuler's Congressional Campaign on purely football reasons. It turned out to be quite a blast -- I ended up covered by the AP, Sports Illustrated, and most importantly, Deadspin. I even got to interview him. I was contacted by the opposition's campaign and the NRCC, and the election turned into one of the hottest races in a hot election year. Oh yeah, and I made Brit Hume laugh.

A blast to the past

This week, I was profiled in an article in the Washington City Paper for a website I came up with -- for the second time. The last time was 1999, when they did an article on Crack Aficionado, and even sent a photographer out to my apartment to take a spooky picture of me and Gannon.

This time, is was about Stop Shuler, a blog I started in January to "oppose" Heath Shuler's candidacy for Congress. When I heard that he was running, I thought it had great comedic possibilities -- a great way to make fun of politics and talk football.

I had a long conversation with Dave McKenna of the City Paper, talking about Redskins, politics, and even kids. The article he wrote was a bit too much about me individually, I thought, but it was interesting to see him drag out the things we did in the mid-90's, like the anti-Cowboys stuff and making fun of Hootie and the Blowfish. He even said, at the end, that I "make the world a better place" by making people laugh. I thought that was overstating things a bit, but it was nice to hear.

I'm waiting to start hearing from friends still back in DC about the article. Thankfully, being on the west coast prevented another scary photo of me -- see below:

Stop Shuler

Here's a new website for you -- www.stopshuler.com -- a site opposing Heath Shuler's Congressional bid.