The Coach is KILLING Me!

A new era, for sure

The draft was a little different for the Redskins this year. First off, they actually had draft picks, which is kinda unusual. Then, when they were unable to trade any of the picks for Chad Johnson, they spent the first day picking receivers (um, guys, you do know you can draft linemen, right?). To top it all off, they drafted QB Colt Brennan in the 6th round.

The interesting thing about Brennan (to me) is not how he dropped so far after getting destroyed by Georgia in the Sugar Bowl, but the oblique references to "off-the-field issues." No one actually mentions them, so I will excerpt his Wikipedia page here:

On January 28, 2004, Brennan was accused of entering the dorm room of a University of Colorado woman uninvited and, according to a male friend who entered the room while Colt was present, "exposed himself and fondled the woman'," a charge which Brennan denied. (It has been suggested that Colt was invited to the room by the female student, who reacted when her male friend entered the room.) Brennan, who was intoxicated at the time of the incident, was arrested and eventually convicted of charges of felony burglary and trespassing (serving one week in jail along with probation until he graduated from college), but a guilty verdict for unlawful sexual contact was vacated by the court for lack of evidence. After the incident, which was caught up in the middle of the time when CU was flooded with other accusations of sex crimes and revelations of wild recruiting parties involving Colorado football players, Brennan was kicked off the team.

One could go two directions with this. One way would be to remark that he has only had one off-the-field issue, and has been a stand up citizen while at Hawaii -- and besides, the details of that incident weren't exactly cut and dry.

The other way to go is to think "eeeew." It reminds me of what the Washington Post's Jason La Canfora said when the Redskins signed oft-troubled WR/KR Jerome Mathis: "Ain't no way Mathis gets in the building on [Gibbs'] watch, not even for a workout. Not even to deliver the mail."

A new era indeed. One that I hope will turn out well, but I just can't seem to shake the nervous feeling in my stomach. 

Our Long National Nightmare is Over

"Really? They hired Jim Zorn?"

It lasted an interminable 32 days and included at least 11 candidates (remember Jim Schwartz?), but it is finally over. Along the way, we had the Woodward & Bernstein-like reporting of Jason La Canfora on Post's Redskins Insider blog, who constantly dug up new candidates first (like Mariucci) and was the first person that I saw to bring up the idea that Zorn could be the choice. To be honest, it got to the point that I dreaded hitting the "refresh" button on that page.

So, the Redskins ended up with Jim Zorn. Is that good or bad? I have no idea. There are two schools of thought on this -- the first, put forth by Wilbon, is that having the Redskins not make the big-name or flashy choice is a sign of progress; the second, championed by Mike Wise, is that Zorn is a hire out of desperation.

At the moment, I am leaning towards Wilbon's opinion. Every year, the Redskins try to win "The Super Bowl of the Offseason" as Tony & Mike would jokingly call it, and it never seemed to work out. No one can accuse the Redskins of that this year -- they have been more like Miami Dolphins of the offseason before hiring Zorn -- and maybe that is a good thing. Many people have pointed out that Joe Gibbs rose from obscurity when Jack Kent Cooke hired him back in the day -- maybe he's the next Joe Gibbs.

Then again, they are hiring a guy who has never even been a coordinator in the NFL, and a guy the Seahawks passed over as the replacement for Holmgren for a guy who had only been on staff a year.
It's not like the Redskins have never hired an offensive guru known for working with quarterbacks -- maybe instead of the next Joe Gibbs, we're getting the next... Norv Turner.

*Shudder*

Only time will tell...

The Owner is KILLING Me!

I have generally always been a Dan Snyder supporter. Not an enthusiastic supporter, mind you, but my general opinion has been that the guy wants to win and was able to bring back Joe Gibbs, so isn't all that bad. It seemed he had learned his lessons from his first few years as an owner when he went crazy in free agency and coach hiring.

But I kept hearing things. A friend of mine who has years of experience building websites for NFL teams (including Redskins.com) once told me that NFL teams have a tendency to take on the personality of their owners. For the Redskins, it meant that most employees worked in fear and took it out on their vendors. Another person I know who used to work on Redskins.com says that the Redskins were, by far, the worst client he ever had to deal with -- causing him to eventually to quit his job.

I told these people that they were thin-skinned wimps. Dan Snyder just wants to win, I would say. They just demand the best -- what's wrong with that, I would ask. They just laughed and shook their heads at me.

The last couple of weeks have been excruciating. Snyder has managed to suck all the positivity that was lefty over from the last-season run to the playoffs with this giant mess of a coach search. First it was just how long it seemed to be dragging on with no real understanding of what was going on. Then, it was the Fossel rumors (what, Ray Handley wasn't available?). And now, the Redskins have two new coordinators and no actual new coach in sight. Is there any way that this ends well? If there is, I can't see it.

When Joe GIbbs retired, I got a message from a friend that asked me "are you ok with the Skins and Gibbs?" I'm not sure if he was checking my well being or if he thought I might want another coach. I answered back, "I am never okay other people coaching the Redskins." Quite frankly, it has never worked out -- the existence of this site is proof of that anxiety. Now, the Redskins start yet another era P.G. (Post Gibbs), and I don't think this one is going to be any better. All I can hope for is that the Cowboys continue to be unable to win playoff games as well...

It's Official: I'm Retiring

Farewell, Joe.

Since the best football coach in the history of mankind retired today, I have decided to do the same thing.

We all had a great run for a little while here on the site -- the fans were chanting for Marty, the Norv Face was in full bloom, and we even discussed replacements. As an added bonus, I got to use my History degree for something other than cocktail party trivia.

In a round about way, it was Joe Gibbs that created this site. He built the standard that Norv Turner was unable to live up to, and caused all that angst in the 90s for me (well, maybe all the flannel and grunge helped on that front as well). Having Norv show up again in my back yard seemed like a good opportunity to talk about it again. But I think I've accomplished what I came accomplish, and I don't think I can spend the rest of my life looking for unflattering photos of Norv Turner.

I also learned a valuable lesson: expectations are different here. This wasn't Norv coming in and expected to be the next Joe Gibbs and win Super Bowls, he was just expected to NOT be the new Marty Schottenheimer -- and win at least one freaking playoff game.

Of course, if you think about it, the Chargers are no better off than last year, even with a playoff win. Their worse record this year required them to play a game before advancing to the same divisional round they started in last year. If they lose to the Colts, how can it be considered a more successful season to have fewer total wins and progress no further in the playoffs? I'll tell ya -- when you haven't won a playoff game in 13 years, that's how.

The gift that Norv had brought to the Chargers is having them lose enough games during the regular season to get a positive match up in the first round of the playoffs, win that game, and declare victory. No one expects them to beat the Colts, and there will be no shame in losing in Indy. But due to Norvitude earlier in the year, he gets to put up the "Mission Accomplished" banner and move on to next year.

The key to success: lower expectations.

This has been quite a football season for me, full of emotion, excitement, sadness and silliness. I'd like to thank Joe Gibbs and Norv Turner for the season they gave me. And with that, I'm going to spend some time with my family and find a new venture. But I will leave with two thoughts:

• I really hope Gregg Williams is not another Richie Petitbon.
• And I am thanking God tonight that Norv Turner will continue to be employed by the Chargers so he can't be hired by the Redskins.

Thanks, everybody, it's been real...

Goodbye, Sean Taylor

Last week, I ordered a Sean Taylor jersey for my son (his 3rd birthday is coming up). He’s an “active” kid — which is a polite way for the teachers to say that he's a handful and sometimes difficult to control (I got the same review at his age). One of the the things he likes to do is to have me sit on the floor while he goes to the other end of the room and then runs at me as fast as he can, trying to knock me over. He will also occasionally run into a wall or a door when he's being "active" -- and just bounce off and keep going. For all these reasons, he reminded me of Sean Taylor, and so I figured a #21 jersey be a perfect gift.

Buying athlete jerseys is a little like a tattoo -- there's not much you can do if the player leaves or gets arrested -- you're stuck with it. There is a site dedicated to outdated jerseys (the Redskins fan wearing a Deion Sanders jersey should get his fan privileges revoked), and I generally avoid getting them. When I have, they have been what I consider pretty "safe" choices -- I have an Art Monk #81 and an infant-sized #28 Darell Green. You always knew that they wouldn't get in trouble, and that they would always be respected by fans.

That's why I paused a bit before getting the Taylor jersey for my son. Would he be a Redskin for the foreseeable future? Probably -- but I didn't see the Lavar Arrnington breakdown with the team coming. Would he ever do anything that would make it embarrassing to wear the jersey? Well, there certainly a chance of that, as he has had off the field trouble (well documented in all the wire stories about him) and on field trouble (spitting, late hits, and so on). In the end, I figured that the kid would grow out of it in two years, so it wasn't too much of a risk.

So, when I first saw the headline "Sean Taylor shot in Miami" I thought, "Oh, great, Taylor didn't even wait until the order shipped to get in trouble." I feel bad making that assumption, but athletes usually seem to get shot through misadventure, and I figured the worse case scenario was that he would miss a few more games. As I read the stories, and saw that he actually was in critical condition, the tenor of the day changed for me. I found myself re-loading The Redskins Insider every few minutes, hoping for the "he's going to be okay" update. I was surprised at how upsetting I found the whole thing -- after all, he's just a professional athlete that I've never met, who lives a life of privilege -- why should I care? In the end, the fact that a little Taylor jersey is making its way across the country to our house made a difference.

The jersey should get here next Monday, and I'm not exactly sure what we should do with it.  Is it tasteless to wear it now? Should we put it under glass and mount it in his room? Should we return it for a Jason Campbell (or a Darrell Green)?

My daughter, who is 4, asked what I was writing about, and I explained that the man who wore #21 for the Redskins died, and that her brother was getting a shirt with his name on it for his birthday. She paused and thought about it for a second.

"Well, I guess my brother will have to be the new #21, and we can watch him."  She seemed satisfied that she had solved the problem.

So, when the jersey comes, I'm going to put him in it right away. I'm going to want him to wear it as he runs around the house hitting things, playing with reckless abandon, just like Sean Taylor did. We may not be able to watch the original anymore, but we will have our ways to remember him, and watching my boy wreak havoc in a Taylor jersey seems to be a good way to do it.

Richie Petitbon Flashback

I was listening to Howard Stern this morning, and they were playing a classic show from August 1993. In the middle of a bit where they were making fun of Larry King, they read this tidbit from Larry's USA Today column:

"I think Richie Petitbon is going to be an excellent NFL coach."

I wonder if he retracted that statement after he went 4-12 and got replaced by Norv...

Did I Wake up in 1995?

I've watched the new show Journeyman a couple of times, where the guy keeps traveling back in time to help people and advertise the iPhone (actually, I can't look at the actor and not think that he should really go back in time and keep Julius Caesar from being stabbed -- he screwed that up royally the first time).

Today, I had one of those same experiences -- I woke up and Norv Turner is the football coach in the city I live in, and Gus Frerotte is a starting quarterback in the NFL. Now, I was a full-fledged member of the "Gus-stapo" back when Norv was switching between him and Heath Shuler, but I can't imagine this is good news for Rams fans.

Now, I am going tell my 1995 self to lay off on the credit card, buy some Netscape stock, not to buy Shaq-Fu: Da Return, and that the Redskins will be causing a lot more pain...

The Many Sad Faces of Norv Turner

After the Chargers disappointing loss in Green Bay, many outlets (including this one) chose to use this picture of Norv Turner, which seemed to sum up things nicely:

(See Deadspin, With Leather, & Chargers Gab for some examples)

The (sad) fact is, this is not the first time Norv has sported this particular look of despair on the sidelines:

Gratuitous Redskins-Eagles Post

I'm currently in Vegas. Two important things to note: A) I actually bet on the Eagles tonight -- for a friend of mine who is a huge Eagles fan and at the game; B) I played blackjack in the exact opposite way Norv Turner would, and won a lot of money. Therefore, I've got to say it was a good day (I didn't even have to use my AK).

Lies, Damn Lies, and Norv Turner’s Coaching Record

It is always an interesting exercise to read the official bios of public figures (ok, we need more hobbies). Each one tries to find the most creative way to play up the positive aspects of their career while avoiding the negative parts.  So, reading over Norv's bio on the Chargers site was pretty much as I expected. Of course, there were several quotes from Troy Aikman (on a side note, I can watch the clip of Lavar Arrington ending Troy's career over and over again) talking about Norv walking on water, and even some discussion on how he nurtured Gus Frerotte & Brad Johnson to the Pro Bowl. All pretty much what I expected -- although it was surprising that mega draft bust Heath Shuler was  not mentioned (ha!).

But then I looked at the paragraph about his coaching tenure at Washington. It read:

"He ended up spending seven years in Washington, leading the Redskins to four winning seasons"

Now, Norv's coaching career in DC happened during a time before I was married and both my roommates worked at a bar. But I'm pretty sure I would have been sober enough to remember four winning seasons in that time frame. So I did some research. Here is what I found at Pro Football Reference:

           | Reg. Season  | Playoffs |

+----------+--------------+----------+

| Year  TM |   W   L   T  |   W   L  |

+----------+--------------+----------+

| 1994 was |   3  13   0  |   0   0  |

| 1995 was |   6  10   0  |   0   0  |

| 1996 was |   9   7   0  |   0   0  |

| 1997 was |   8   7   1  |   0   0  |

| 1998 was |   6  10   0  |   0   0  |

| 1999 was |  10   6   0  |   1   1  |

| 2000 was |   7   6   0  |   0   0  |

Ok, I remember the 1996 "Maybe he's really turning things around" 9-7 year, and definitely the 1999 playoff year. Technically 8-7-1 is a winning record for the season, but is nothing to be proud of (by the way, the tie was a 7-7 game against the Giants at RFK that was probably the worst, most boring football game ever played). But where was that fourth winning season?

It appears that they counted Norv's 7-6 coaching record in 2000 as the fourth winning season. The biggest issue is, of course, that Norv was fired during that season, and the Redskins finished 8-8. This was the season where Dan Snyder brought in Bruce Smith, Deion Sanders, and *shudder* Jeff George, they started 6-2, went on a 1-4 slide, and Norv got booted out the door.

So, the more accurate way to describe it in Norv's bio would be: "He ended up spending seven years in Washington, and had four seasons with a winning coaching record" or: "He ended up spending seven years in Washington, leading the Redskins to three winning seasons" or, my personal favorite: "He ended up spending seven years in Washington, leaving them no closer to success then when he got there, leaving behind a legion of fans bitter, disappointed, and hostile."

So, we call you out, San Diego Chargers PR team. You will have plenty of opportunities to try to spin Norv's failures into gold, but you drifted into fiction on this one.

Norv & Heath

One of Norv Turner's biggest blunders as coach of the Redskins was his insistence on drafting uber-bust Heath Shuler and then mismanaging the QB situation for the next three years. He would never really name a starter, and just yank Gus & Heath in and out, seemingly on a whim. Well, when Heath Shuler was running for Congress last year, I interviewed him for my last side project: Stop Shuler. He very strongly intimated that it was Norv's fault that he never lived up to expectations -- starting him too soon, yanking him too quick, and generally not knowing what he was doing. I tried to get Norv's side of the story, but the 49ers PR team deflected me.

Obviously, this time around, Norv isn't involved in picking his players (the Chargers already have a bunch of good ones), and it would be tough for him to manufacture a QB controversy (I just don't see the fans jumping on the Billy Volek bandwagon). I wonder what he will come up with...

West Coast, East Sports

One of the biggest adjustments to moving across country is how it affects sports. This is due to distance and time zones. I can't pop into Camden Yards to catch the Orioles, I have wait until they travel out here. If I want to watch the Redskins, the game starts at 10 AM, and it most likely won't be on TV here. The standings in the paper list the Western divisions first.

Anyway, I have still been able to root for my crappy East Coast teams. Unfortunately, none of the local teams are any good either (with the exception of the Lakers). Nonetheless, as proof of my dedication, here are the photos of me showing that pride. We caught two of the three games that the Orioles played in Anaheim. It also included Cal Ripken's final game in SoCal, with a guest appearance by The Mouse. The line for autographs literally wrapped around the stadium, so we just sat in the bleachers and complained about the Rally Monkey (a story for another day).

If you have sophisticated photo enhancement equipment, you can see Cal standing just outside the dugout.

We also managed to see a Redskins game for the first time since our first date WAAY back in November 1995 in RFK. Since the Chargers only sell out Raiders games when gangs of hoodlums descend from LA, we were able to get good seats to opening day. In this photo, you can see that the Chargers are about to score another touchdown. They might have won the game, but the Chargers theme song ("San Diego... Super Chargers!") is awful. It sounds like it came about as the result of a high school contest in the late 80's.